God created marriage to be a shadow or a small example of Christ’s love for the Church. He deeply values marriages, they can play a large role in a Christian’s life to help sanctify them and draw them closer to Christ. Marriage is a tool that God uses to draw us closer to Holiness, to break down our comfortable lives, and to show us an example of how great His love is for us. But too many Christian’s idolize marriage. It is becoming more common to see Christians pursuing marriage instead of pursuing Christ’s mission and calling for their lives.
Sure, marriage can be joy filled, and completely satisfying to an extent. However it should not be the most important thing in a Christian’s life. When you find your spouse it’s not like your problems will magically disappear. Finding your spouse is not the end of pain and hardship. God has ordained different seasons in our lives, and yes, believe it or not God has given some the season of singleness. What we fail to miss within singleness, is that God has a purpose for it, there is something He is calling us to do. When we are so fixated on the future and how we can get there, so often we fail to see what God is asking from us right now. There is something greater at hand than our happiness.
If we want to learn to use the season of singleness wisely we should endeavor to pursue Holiness and not happiness. We should endeavor in all things to make Christ the center and to bring Him the most glory. We should not neglect the responsibilities that Christ has given to us in this season of life. Remember that one of the wisest Christians to live, Paul was not married. In Scripture he even explicitly addresses the unmarried and widowed (1 Corinthians 7:25-39). Here he says that it is good for a person to remain as he is (1 Corinthians 7:26-27) meaning to remain single, but it also says if someone gets married then they have not sinned (1 Corinthians 7:28-29). When we review all that Paul did for The Lord, we see that he chose not to be married, and he was able to accomplish much for the glory of Christ. It helps to put a perspective on marriage that we would normally not have.
This is and has been a great struggle for me personally. It is OK to struggle with discontentment and being single. But we cannot allow it to turn into depression, we cannot allow it to create bitterness for others who are not single. I have felt extreme loneliness at times and have dealt with wondering why God would withhold some thing that seems so good. Recently, God has changed my attitude towards singleness and instead of pursuing happiness, I’m trying to pursue Holiness. He is continually growing me in faith and in character so that in His timing I will be exactly where He wants me to be. I have been continually praying and asking God to sanctify me and to prepare me to be a Godly husband in His perfect timing. It’s easy to think God is punishing us or forgetting us, or something of that nature. But when we step back and examine His power, and beauty in the way He works all things together for good, then why wouldn’t we trust Him with this aspect of our life?