Do you remember when you turned 13? It was so cool to now be considered a teenager. It didn’t take long though before all you could think about was, “I can’t wait until I am 16.” Most of our energy was quickly shifted to wishing we were older already. Time felt like it would go by so slow. We focused our attention on the future and how discontent we were with our current age. It preoccupied our thoughts so much that it was really easy to lose sight of living in the present and the responsibilities that were before us.
Fast forward to today and you are probably not preoccupied at all by wishing you could drive. But what about if you are still in a season of being single? That same preoccupation can easily come upon us wishing we were on to the next stage of life. We can get so discontent with our current situation and wish so badly that we were in a relationship that we lose sight of living in the present and taking advantage of the time we have. Singleness is not a curse; it’s not something that you should feel embarrassed of or wish away.
I had to learn the hard way that being single is actually a gift; it’s an opportunity to grow and do something great for the Lord while you wait for the great things he has in store for you. Let’s take a look at a few things that outline the mindset and focus we should have in our singleness.
Be Content. It is really easy to become anxious and discontent with being single when we have such a strong desire to be in a relationship. That can be true of anything we feel called to do but then remain in a season of waiting. The longer we wait the more preoccupied we can become. Being content can seem like such a tough place to get to – but with God it is completely possible. The ability to truly be content in your singleness rests on one premise: having faith to completely trust God. When we trust that God has us single for a reason, our perspective starts to change. We will start to let go of our anxious, restless thoughts and starting living in the present. When we know and believe that God is at work and has a plan that is better than anything we could ask or think, we can completely trust the outcome to him. We need to surrender our will to his declaring that he knows best, he has a plan, and will provide – in his time. That is the heart of contentment – it accepts the purpose of being single and trusts in the sovereignty of God.
Find Your Purpose. Being single is a unique time in your life to serve God and find your purpose. Never again will you have as few responsibilities as you do right now. You need to use this time to seek the Lord and find the purpose he has placed on your life. God has you single for a reason and you need to take the time to find it. Seek God and figure out what your spiritual gifts are, what passions God has given you, and what opportunities you have to bring those together to serve him. If you have never taken a spiritual gifts test before, start there. List out your passions and then what opportunities exist that you can serve God. Focusing on these things will help you grow in contentment as well. It will refocus that energy you previously had focused on being single and use it to do something great for the Lord. Don’t let this time just pass you by or wish it away; embrace it for what it is – an opportunity to find your God-given purpose and serve God with full abandon.
Work on You. If we are honest with each other, we often paint a picture of what we would like our future somebody to look like – things we want them to do or characteristics we want them to have. Some people go so far as to develop a list of things they would like that person to fit. Even worse others will tweet to them #DearFuture… If you find that you can relate to that, it is not healthy to be more focused on that future somebody than you are on God. Refocus your energy to something more productive and honoring to God – your sanctification. We can’t control what that person will be like, but we can control pursuing God more. Take that energy and put it towards becoming the person God has intended you to be for your future spouse. You are more likely to attract Mr./Mrs. Right when you are becoming Mr./Mrs. Right. Seek God and ask him to reveal to you areas you need to grow and mature in. We need to prepare ourselves and grow in maturity to be ready to receive the blessings God has in store.
Regardless of how long this season lasts in your life, trust the outcome to God – he has a plan. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Use the time you have as an opportunity to find your purpose and serve God with full abandon. Seek after the Lord and prepare yourself to be ready to receive the blessings he has in store for you.